Process Versus Product

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters
of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
and though they are with you,
yet they belong not to you.
~~excerpt from The Prophet

It's not news I am an obsessed knitter/craft junkie. Recently, a friend's husband spotted me on the street by my double-knitting scarf in the making, draped around my neck! (Just imagine I am caught on candid camera...comical you say.) Now leading up to the core of the post...just bear with me a little longer, I am getting there.

The notion of process versus product surfaces regularly in conversations among knitters. Process knitters enjoy the act of knitting, the feel of the yummy fiber as each strand passes through their fingers, seeing each stitch emerge and pattern gradually reveal, and the meditative state of busy fingers. Product knitters appreciate seeing, feeling, and using their Finished Objects (FO), happily foregoing swatching (that's me!) or knitting with bulkier yarn in order to get their FO off the needles sooner.

Like many knitters, I have both process and product tendencies. I will elaborate on that over my crafty blog on another day. As an unschooling parent, I am much less concerned with how my children will turn out. I cringed when I hear people declaring they are considering prep school for their preschool-age children in order for them to get a good education, get into a good college and have the right
ions in life--the very same song my parents sang. I'm not looking to mold my children into a packaged product, a slick and glossy FO whose achievements I may brag about.

I love sharing in my children's process of childhood, learning alongside them, watching them emerge and evolve. If one day, they could ever be considered FOs, I trust they will turn out just fine.

I recall a passage from THE PROPHET by Khalil Gibran: Your Children are Like Arrows. It struck me, then and now, the most important thing to me is my children are unstressed by artificial, societal constraints, loved, and loving in their everyday lives, playful and free to learn what they need and desire--at every given moment--and my personal experience with our way of living so far enable me to trust the process is working in good order.


Last week, my 12-year-old became happily employed, independent young lady and received her first hard-earned wages. She is only an inch shorter than me, but her feet is a size or more larger than mine. I reminisce and relish the first day she came into my life in my arms, for the first time, tiny and crinkly...Life is short. If parents spend time spinning their wheels trying to re-make their children, the chance to really know the children as they already are is lost.

Here is a bit of sweetness to fill your home and your heart with...while baking and cooking aplenty. Everyone, children or adults, can't wait for these muffins to come out of the oven! Triple the recipe...you won't regret it.

(Makes 18 average-sized muffins)
½ C Brown Sugar, packed
½ C Olive Oil (or Applesauce)
4 Eggs
1 15-oz Canned Pumpkin
½ C Water
1 t Vanilla Extract
1 C All-purpose Flour
½ C Whole Wheat Flour
3/4 t Baking Powder
½ t Baking Soda
¼ t Ground Cloves (add more Ground Cinnamon or Allspice if you don't have this)
1 t Ground Cinnamon
¼ t Salt
¼ t Ground Nutmeg (add more Ground Cinnamon if you don't have this)
¼ Cup semisweet chocolate chips and/or chopped nuts(optional)

Preheat oven to 400°. Line muffin (or loaf) pan with liner. Mix sugar, oil, eggs, vanilla, then, add pumpkin and water. In another bowl, mix together remaining ingredients. Add wet mixture and stir in chocolate chips and/or nuts. Fill muffin cups 2/3 full with batter. Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes.

Great served warm with butter the next day, if any left! Another option: Sprinkle cinnamon sugar on top of the muffins before baking. The kids love them!

DREAM...EXPLORE...AND DISCOVER!!